Something horrible seems to have crept up on us this holiday
season. It’s clearly been lurking, biding its time since the 80/early 90s and
has decided that now is the time they will strike.
I talk of course of the Christmas Jumper!
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| No Colin..... just no. |
It has to be mind control. Surly no other rational explanation makes
sense as to why suddenly, out of no-where, this year these hideous abominations
of knit-wear are appearing in every shop window on our high streets. In usually
quite stylish chains, on attractive models who look like they would normally be
seen in slinky dresses or sharp suits. They model their large reindeer heads or
repeated snowflake patterns as if they were the height of style. Its all part of their mind control agenda.
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| Don't be fooled ... she would look hotter in something else. Anything else |
This is how the invasions start in sci-fi you know. First
they take over the high street shops, then they come at you through the
windows. I mean, Just look at the Autons!
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The mind control has clearly already spread beyond the
people running the shops. In recent weeks not only have I seen actual people on
my commute wearing them but have also heard of charity wear-a-Christmas-jumper
days and Christmas Jumper Parties!
Worse still I've been invited to one. Even worse still I think my wife has fallen under their control. She keeps mentioning them. I fear I will wake up one morning and she would have put one on me in my sleep and then it will be too late.
It won’t be long before they’ll be made compulsory school
and work uniforms and a slave force of workers is forced to churn them out 24
hours a day (actually that one is probably already happening).
And then my friends the evil wool aliens will have won.
Unless we fight back now.
The resistance starts today. Fight back against the oppressors and mind
controllers and shout from the roof tops “Down with the novelty Christmas Jumpers!”
